Negative thinking is one of the biggest obstacles we face in experiencing more happiness, but theres hope. Here are two strategies based on cognitive1 behavioral therapy to defeat your negative thinking.
负面考虑是大家在获得更多幸福时所面对最大的妨碍之一,不过还是有解决方法。以下是依据认知行为治疗所提出的两种击退负面考虑的办法。
The first is to distract. When youre heading into a social gathering2 and you begin to wonder, What if I dont connect with anyone? Am I even likable? do something that lifts your mood. Generating a positive emotion will counteract3 the anxiety you feel listen to a song that makes you smile or take a moment to appreciate people in your life who love you. Positive emotions literally4 undo5 the effects of anxiety by lowering our heart rate and muscle tension.
第一种是分散注意力。当你去到一个社交聚会,然后你开始心想「万一我和大家都聊不来如何解决?会有人喜欢我吗?」时,做件能提振心情的事吧。激起正面情绪能抵消你的焦虑感--听一首会让自己微笑的歌,或花点时间领会一下生命中爱着你的那些人。正面情绪真的可以藉由减少心率和肌肉紧张度来消去焦虑的影响。
We often believe that our negative thinking is true. But in reality, our minds feed us messages that range from mild embellishments to outright6 lies. Here, we might prefer to combat.
大家常相信我们的负面考虑是真实的。但在日常,大家的大脑常提供大家一些讯息,从稍作渲染的信息到全然的谎话都有。这个时候,大家可能会想选择战斗。
Imagine yourself in court. You are the prosecutor7, and your negative thought is the defendant8. Hes guilty, and you know it, but hes pleading not guilty and sticking to his story. Your task is to get the judge to hear your side. So when the negative thought shouts out, Youre not good enough at your job, you need to consult the evidence you have at your disposal to prove it wrong, argue back with the strongest piece of evidence you can find. For example, I am good enough because every performance review Ive had has been positive. Im currently being considered for that promotion9, and my boss told me last week how much she enjoys working with me. Bring your best version of a tough lawyer to that courtroom and convince the judge that the negative thought doesnt deserve his or her attentionafter all, the judge is you.
想象自己在法庭上。你是检察官,你的负面想法是被告。他有罪,你心知肚明,不过他一直辩说自己没罪,而且坚持他的说法。你的任务就是要让法官听你这方的说词。所以当负面想法大喊:「你在工作上不够有能力」,你得借助手边拥有些证据来证实这是错的,用你所能找到最有力的证据反击回去。比如,「我够好,由于我每次的绩效考核都是好的。我目前是那个升迁机会的候选人,而且我老板上礼拜才跟我说她有多喜欢和我共事。」在法庭上表现出你最强悍的律师那面,说服法官不需要理会负面想法--毕竟,那法官就是你一个人。
Both of these strategies, distract and combat, are skills anyone can learn and get better at with practice. Remember, with each negative thought you defeat, youve successfully earned your own happiness.
这两种方案,分散注意力和战斗,是其他人都可以学习并且熟能生巧的技能。记住,每击退一个负面想法,你就成功获得是我们的幸福快乐。